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Archive for April, 2013

We look up at each other wearily and sigh as a three year old cries on the floor about who knows what (really random things can be really sad to a three year old) and a one year old clings to my husband’s legs, crying “Daddy! Daddy!”  We tiredly smile at each other, and I say, “Are you sure we can have another one?”

We sit on the couch, side-by-side, each with a girl on our lap and watch our wedding video.  We look at our children and then at each other with tears in our eyes as our family watches the footage of us, seven years younger, smiling brightly at one another unable to take our eyes off each other.  Annelise asks me, “Mommy, ers (are you) sad?”  “No baby, Mommy is really, really happy.”

I sit on the bed literally wrestling a crying Maribelle into her jammies.  Minutes before, Annelise was sobbing over having to change her underwear.  My husband asks me, “If this moment was all you could see seven years ago, would you still do it?”

Oh yes, I would.  One million times over.  With him.  Only with him.

My husband is the greatest, hardest-working, ceaseless servant I have ever met.  He gives to me and our family in ways that I could never have comprehended when I beamed at him seven years ago on our wedding day.  I love him more now and respect him more today than I ever could have dreamed when we were 24 year old dreamy-eyed lovebirds.  The hard things of raising a family have brought out the best in him. And in us.  

At the end of our longest days, when we collapse beside one another on the couch, I know there is no one I’d rather be walking through this crazy life with.  I want to be here with our two beautifully wild girls and my best friend at day’s end.  There is no one I’d rather look at night after night. 

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Toward the end of February, both of my girls came down with a stomach bug over one weekend, back to back.  It was disgusting, and I felt so nauseous all weekend.  Which was totally understandable when I considered all the vomit and diarrhea I was cleaning up.

After the girls were better, I still felt nauseous.  And kind of noticed that I felt better as long as I kept eating.  Finally, I thought, “Maybe I should see where I am in my cycle…”  I was only a day or two late, but I KNEW I was pregnant.  The test was a formality.  It changed immediately, and I walked out and flashed three fingers to my husband sitting on the couch.  He ran over to hug me.  We jumped and hugged and silent screamed (Maribelle was napping).

I walked back into the bathroom, looked at the Lord, and squealed, “I love this one already!

Which was a sweet surprise because just a couple months earlier, I had been terrified by the prospect of a third baby.  I knew that I *wanted* a third baby, but the idea of going through another pregnancy sounded exhausting.  And honestly, I really, really enjoy our family right now.  There was a deep fear that if we had another baby, our family life would be ruined.

And then, something happened.  I can’t put my finger on what, but slowly the Lord started not just opening my heart to the idea of another baby, but actually making me feel excited about it.  It seemed like every time I saw a picture of a baby on Facebook, my heart would think, “Awww, I need a baby to snuggle.”  Or reading about a friend’s pregnancy made me remember the wonder of it all and the blessing of new life.

I’m thankful that the Lord prepared my heart because this is the first pregnancy we’ve had that we weren’t expecting or trying for.  Surprise!  Thus, the tagline for this pregnancy has become: It only takes once. 🙂

Our first ultrasound was at 8 weeks on Tuesday, March 26.  We saw the telltale little blob with a little flickering heartbeat.  And can I tell you that IT NEVER GETS OLD?  The wonder of a little person with a little heart fluttering away inside my uterus just floors me every time.  I am so thankful to God for the gift of another baby as we pray for its health and safety in momma’s womb.

We have since told the girls about the newest little member of our family.  When asked if she wants a baby brother or sister, Annelise consistently says, “A baby girl.”  And then quickly adds, “Maribelle wants a baby brother.”  We’ll see who gets what they want because there was only one little person on the ultrasound screen.

Stay tuned. This bun is expected to be fully baked by November 3, 2013.  We will welcome him/her into the chaos with open arms.

 

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