Dear Baby Girl

Dear Baby Girl Baker,

 

Thanks for not being too modest yesterday Little One. It feels so good to know already that you are going to be our little girl. Our daughter. That someday, you will be someone’s wife. And then, a mother.

 

It feels so much more real now that we are going to be parents. That your dad and I have no idea what we’re doing or how to raise you. I think I’ll go ahead and apologize in advance for all the mistakes we’ll make. On a daily basis I’m sure. I think God gives extra grace to the oldest child because I’m sure my mom and dad did some crazy things as first-time parents, but I don’t remember. Hopefully, you’ll be able to say the same thing someday.

 

I loved getting to see you on the ultrasound screen yesterday with your heart beating and your cute little feet. I’ll admit it, I thought it was kind of cool that you were stubborn and wouldn’t move for the ultrasound lady to be able to get a good profile shot of you. I don’t like being awakened when I’m sleeping either. My favorite part was when she kept pressing on you to get you to move, and you pushed back with your little arm. I like kids who are a little bit feisty, and it looks like you are already. You also kept sticking your tongue out at us. I’m not sure what to make of that one yet Baby Girl. We’ll probably have to break you of that little habit someday.

 

Now that we know you’ll be our little girl, I keep thinking about what you might be like and who you might look like. I hope you have a good mix of your dad and I (with a little of your own flair thrown in there to keep us on our toes). I hope you are the type of girl who faces your fears head on like me. I hope you have a little bit of my determination and some of your dad’s curiosity. I hope you love other people the way your dad does. I hope you can sing like him. I hope you love to be outdoors like both of us. Ultimately, I hope you’ll love Jesus. (And Ohio State football).

 

I hope you’re more like your father as a teenager. I was a bit, shall we say, hell to live with emotional during the teen years. My mom and I spent about 5 years fighting. But I promise I’ll love you no matter how you behave. I mean, despite those hard years, your grandma is one of my best friends now. I hope that you and I will be able to say the same thing in 25 years.

 

I’ll be honest though, Baby Girl, I really hope you don’t get your dad’s nose. It looks great on him (he’s the most handsome man I know), but I think it’d be a little more difficult for you to pull off. I really hope you have his skin. He’s got this great tan complexion year-round. Also, I think since we’ve been married, he’s had approximately 3 zits. If only you could be so lucky. I keep praying by some miracle that you will get my green eyes. Unfortunately, everything about your father is dominant in the world of genetics so there’s not a lot of hope. But stranger things have happened.

 

I’m sitting our living room right now by a pile of stuff that will soon be yours—bottles and onesies and little socks and clothes. All courtesy of our first surprise shower from the Allen family (thank you very much). Unfortunately, even though you’re going to be our firstborn, you already have someone you will have to share your things with. He is a little guy named Sunny. He loves your things already. I’m sure you’ll lose many a stuffed animal to him. And he’ll probably chew up some of your toys. I’m sorry about that. I do think he’ll love you very much. He thinks little kids are among the coolest things he’s ever seen. He’ll probably scratch you once or twice because he’ll be so excited to see you. I figure you’ll take care of that problem pretty quickly. Just give out a yell; he’ll stop.

 

I hope you know how much we love you already. We are humbled to get to be your parents. We hope that you can know God more through us, even if it’s through our failings. We hope that you will develop into your own unique little person. We know you will forever change our lives in a beautiful way. We can’t wait to meet you in January.

 

Forever in love with you,

Your mom

 

p.s. The ultrasound lady mentioned that your head is resting right on my bladder. If you would like to change positions so I will stop leaking pee, I would really appreciate it.

Read Full Post »

Glory Days

I think I’m starting to understand why women rave about the second trimester, like it’s a gift from above…  Because it is.  And I’m just now starting to comprehend the glory of it all.

 

For starters, I started to feel Baby Baker moving recently.  At first, I wasn’t sure what the strange sensation in my abdomen was.  Was it gas?  Not quite.  Was I just feeling nervous?  No, it only sort of felt like butterflies in my belly.  Was it some sort of alien messing with the inside of my stomach that would eventually just pop out one day, like what happened to the poor woman in that weird movie that came out when I was in elementary school?  Or, more logically, the baby?  Could it be the baby???!!!  After a few nights of feeling this “fluttering”, I decided it must be the baby moving.  I still keep feeling my belly from the outside in the vain hope that Royce will be able to experience our baby the same way I can, but to no avail so far. 

 

Of course, with every blessing in pregnancy, it feels like there is something hard.  And what was hard about feeling Baby Baker was then not feeling Baby Baker.  For two whole days.  And every book and website said it is “totally normal” to not feel the baby move for several days at this stage of pregnancy and “nothing to worry about”.  Yeah, right.  I could feel my baby pretty regularly and now I can’t and you want me to not worry?  Seriously?  Then, I felt the baby again on Saturday night, and all was right in the world.

 

I’ve also started to experience the hormonal/emotional side of pregnancy.  So far, I really haven’t been too emotional, but that has changed in the last few days.  I’ve been short and easily annoyed with my husband (which says a lot more about my heart than it does his actual level of annoying-ness).  I have also been moved to tears by 1. The episode of Friends where Rachel has her baby (not that weird since I am pregnant) and 2.  The last scene in Coyote Ugly, where Violet successfully sings her song at the open mike night (ummmm…really?  Never been that moved by her show of bravery or the loving support of her friends and father before…).

 

Oh yeah, I was supposed to be talking about how this trimester is wonderful…

 

Okay, it is wonderful because I can feel the baby moving, can still go running pretty regularly (albeit slowly), can finally eat somewhat pleasantly (even if I don’t really crave anything), am not so big that it gets in the way of doing anything, can sleep comfortably, am not getting up 2,342 5 times each night to pee anymore, can make it through a whole day without napping, can finally be excited about baby gear without the pressure of needing it “right now”, and honestly just feel gloriously normal most of the time.  Also, don’t tell the No-Caffiene Nazi moms, but I’ve occasionally enjoyed a Mountain Dew Icee, thank you very much.

 

Fast Facts:

• I had to start taking extra iron because of stupid anemia.  But I got a “slow-absorbing” kind which is supposed to be better, and I’m still pooping so I’m pretty excited about that.
• Did you know my uterus is now the size of a cantaloupe?  And Baby Baker is the size of your outstretched hand.
• I measured my belly today, and it is 36 inches!  Whoa!  I never measured it in the beginning of pregnancy, but the jeans I wore pre-pregnancy had a 29 inch waist so I’m guessing I was between 28 and 29 inches.  That means I’ve grown 7 inches already. And I don’t even think I look pregnant yet.
• August 26^th…the day we find out the sex of the baby (assuming Baby Baker isn’t too modest)!!!  We invited our moms to come to the ultrasound, and they both are able to be there so we’re really excited for them to get to meet their first grandbaby. 

 

In other news, we’re leaving for 4 days for our staff retreat (which will be so fun), but I will really miss this face…

Our little ray of Sunshine

 

p.s  For any LOST fans out there, there is a secret shout-out to you somewhere in this post…can you find it?

Read Full Post »

Minimalist Mom?

I’ve been working on a post in my head about CSU this year for the past few weeks, but I think it will take forever to write so I’ll hold off on that for a few more days.  Or maybe forever, who knows?

In other news, Royce and I went in for our 15 week appointment last Friday.  It was kind of anti-climactic.  I’ve spent most of the pregnancy fearing that something was wrong.  That surely my baby was not well.  So I guess the 4 minutes I spent with my doctor, 10 seconds of which we listened to our baby’s heartbeat, felt a little short.  I mean, Doctor, I’ve been waiting for this appointment for 5 whole weeks.  Could you just do something to make me feel like all the thinking I’ve done is actually useful?

Since that appointment, I’ve let myself start dreaming of baby things–cribs and strollers and cute little clothes.  I even went to Babies R Us just to look around.  And let’s just say I’ve become somewhat overwhelmed.

I would say I’m a minimalist in many ways.  Not that I’m some kind of super saint who needs nothing.  I just don’t want a lot of stuff making my life crowded.  Royce and I have lived in a one bedroom apartment for most of our marriage (or a room in my parent’s basement).  We have one car (speaking of which, add “2nd car” to the list of things we need before Baby Baker makes his/her appearance in our lives).  If I get any new clothes, I try to give other clothes away.  I don’t like knick knacks or things in my apartment that I don’t use on a regular basis.  I sit around sometimes thinking, “Is there anything in this room that I don’t need?  That I don’t use?  That I could store or give away or throw away?”  Aside from our multitude of books and my affinity for TV on DVD, I’d say we live a pretty clutter-free life.

Enter baby stuff.  Do you realize the amount of stuff that is recommended to raise a child?  Have you seen Babies R Us’ “Must Have” list?  I realize that I must not need everything on that list, but how do I sort through it all logically?  I don’t want to be a mom who just buys a ton of stuff because I’m an American and I can.  I am also not the type to buy stuff used.  I mean, we’re going to have more than one child (Lord willing) so I’d rather start with something nice so by the time Baby #4 comes around we don’t have to get everything again.  Luckily, Ikea is right up the road, and I feel like they have some very reasonably priced furniture for nurserys. 

But what about strollers?  There’s the one your baby’s car seat attaches to (which seems to weigh 500 pounds) and the jogging one (which honestly seems very practical but doesn’t necessarily help with saving space) and the umbrella one (not sure I understand this one yet. Is it only for when you go to the mall and your baby can already sit up?).  Not to mention, that when you have baby #2, you have to get a double stoller that the baby’s car seat attaches to and a double jogging stroller and a double umbrella one.  It just never ends.  And what about swings?  Your child can only be in one up to 25 lbs…seriously?  Is that worth it?

So Moms out there, help a sister out.  What did you buy that felt like money down the drain?  What was so wonderful and useful that you feel like in retrospect you could not have lived without it?  What are some space-saving ideas?  We’re staying in a one bedroom for at least a few months after Baby Baker’s arrival (unless I, much like Charlie finding the Golden Ticket, stumble across large sums of money on the side of the street). 

In other words ladies, what do I really need?

Also, did I mention I had my 15 week appointment?

Week 15--Total Weight Gain 4 pounds

Read Full Post »